Recent Church Musings: Part One

I must confess that this blog has been written with a certain element of pride. This has occured to me over the past few weeks as I have been reading a book by Brian McLaren entitled A New Kind of Christian. I'm noticing a kind of arrogance present in my life when approaching the denomination of my spiritual birth -- evangelicalism. It was an occasional recognition of this arrogance in McLaren's book that helped me see my own; however, I must make the point of saying that he tries to avoid it especially by calling evangelicals his "brothers and sisters." It is a lippery slope to be so ready to reject evangelicalism, but still recognize them as part of the body of Christ, because they of course are. And I am not entirely devoid of the evangelical in my way of thinking or my way of life. But included is this entire issue of modernity where we're trying to prove each other wrong in order to be right and that's something I must move away from. That kind of fight is useless. I also want to comment that it is the fighting and the group labeling that I have issue with and that in general there is a distinction between right and wring that must be made, but I think it's more complex than most people assume.

So I apologize to my readers, though I know you are few especially since I have not posted in several months. The structure I formulated does not feel like the right thing to do anymore.

Since my last post, I've only attended church a few times. My filming schedule put me off for a while. So I'm going to give you a summary of my recent spiritual musings.

Grace Baptist Church is the evangelical megachurch of the Santa Clarita Valley. It's been a few months since I was there, so forgive me if I lack specificity. I guess what I remember most is being bored. I couldn't focus on the music, the sermon, or anything. I felt like I was in a space that spent too much money on the "cool new toys" for the sake of showing off the cool toys. For example: there was an audio system set up outside with hidden ground speakers playing rock worship music along the sidewalks. I felt like I was at Disneyland. It was during this service that it became clear to me that my motivations for visiting church and giving them ratings on a blog had more to do with edifying pre-conceived judgments on Calvary Chapel-esque services rather than an honest and humble exploration. While I sat in the cushioned pew, I kept thinking "what am I doing here?" I recognized this place of judgment was simply too easy, too convienient, and (to use an evangelical phrase), I was floating around in my comfort zone, rather than challenging my faith. I realized it was time to step out of that.

I long for a way of melding a contemporary understanding of the world with the rich perspective of traditional faith. This brings me towards a desire of diving back into the Episcopal Church like I did three years. Maybe that's why I toss myself between Episcopal and evangelical. Because I want both in one church.

This brings me to my next two experiences, both of which live in Easter weekend.

Read Part Two.
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Glory be to the Father. Amen.
Glory be to the Son. Amen.
Glory be to the Spirit. Amen.
As it was in the beginning, is now, and shall be forever. Amen.