Recent Church Musings: Part Two, Paschal Lamb

Read Part One.

I must first express my sorrow at being unable to attend church during Lent (that blasted film) and how I forgot in my busy-ness to observe Lent at all. I felt it deeply when Easter arrived and the celebration of the Glorious Resurrection lacked without a Lenten preparation in my life. Now that I have experienced Easter with Lent, I can't stand going back to a life without it.

I went to Santa Barbara for Good Friday. Partly to get out of the Valley and partly because I was interested to know more about the Orthodox Church. St Athanasius thus became my destination. My interest was peaked mostly because I was curious what was drawing Zak and Kellie. I also wanted a more somber Good Friday service. I am tired of Good Fridays that are happy peppy and the like because the churches want to give a good impression to the people who don't come to church that often. Let us feel deeply the grief of Christ's death, so we may celebrate his Resurrection all the more on Sunday morning.

The Orthodox Church, to say the least, is quite foreign to me. I don't know what the symbolism is or why they venerate and kiss the scriptures and the burial cloth. I did not know that the entre service was sung. I'm still contemplating these things and wishing that the History of World Christianity class I took at Westmont would have covered the Eastern tradition as well. In fact, they should rename the class History of Western Christianity.

But that is a tangent. Orthodoxy on Good Friday. I had trouble following the liturgy and learning the tunes and finding meaning in the icons. The part of the service that impacted me most was when we walked in a circle around the sanctuary chanting "Holy Mighty God" and some other lines that I can't remember now before walking under a cloth and back to our places. This time and the chanting was a time for meditation on the prayers and the incense and the death. I forgot about my insecurities in such a new environment. Despite this, I felt very confused about what I had witnessed as I left the church. It was a humbling experience because it forced me to recognize that I'm not a big know it all. I am left with more questions than answers, and that fact can be a little frightening.

Easter morning was spent at St. Stephen's Episcopal. The choir director chose a mix of traditional organ-led hymns and piano-led praise songs including a favorite of mine written by the Gettys: The Power of the Cross. It is a favorite because of my association to having first heard it at Westmont. And because I believe the Gettys' music reflect what I wish for in the church: a blend of the old and new. New music with old hymnal structure.

Incense and female priests and gender-inclusive language and real wine for Communion. All things that I love to discover in churches. Yet, the sermon was boring. Even though Easter was only a week or so ago, I don't even remember what he said he thought Easter was about. In fact, I probably forgot it that afternoon.

Here is a question I've been considering: what is the purpose of the sermon? Is it to evangelize, condemn, question, exhort, teach? What is it? How should a pastor or priest address a congregation? Should they only say things the congregation agrees with? Do we really need someone to validate pre-conceived notions about the world? Do we really need someone to condemn all our sins so the people wallow in a guilty shameful penitence? Can't we just speak the Truth?

This is why I enjoy listening to Rob Bell's podcasted sermons from Mars Hill Bible Church. He engages his audience in the fantastic narrative of God relating to his creation. I believe he speaks the Truth. And the Truth is compelling because it questions, it condemns, it exhorts, it teaches, it evangelizes all at once. I think a sermon should focus on speaking the Truth of the Gospel to a people and the rest will follow.

I had an argument/discussion with my ex-boyfriend some months ago about the presentation of a sermon. He preferred the logical explanation of points and that using emotionally engaging rhetoric cheapened the sermon and its speaker. While I understand the criticism, I cannot agree. As sermon needs more life and blood than simply a logical checklist. But it does not follow that a sermon lacks logic. Didn't the Apostles speak in Acts with the intent to engage people in a life with God? Where down the line did the sermon become something boring that must be endured? God is bigger than both logic and emotion. He is bigger than sermons.

I also appreciate Cornerstone for similar reasons to Rob Bell. This brings me to last Sunday.

Part Three is to come.

Recent Church Musings: Part One

I must confess that this blog has been written with a certain element of pride. This has occured to me over the past few weeks as I have been reading a book by Brian McLaren entitled A New Kind of Christian. I'm noticing a kind of arrogance present in my life when approaching the denomination of my spiritual birth -- evangelicalism. It was an occasional recognition of this arrogance in McLaren's book that helped me see my own; however, I must make the point of saying that he tries to avoid it especially by calling evangelicals his "brothers and sisters." It is a lippery slope to be so ready to reject evangelicalism, but still recognize them as part of the body of Christ, because they of course are. And I am not entirely devoid of the evangelical in my way of thinking or my way of life. But included is this entire issue of modernity where we're trying to prove each other wrong in order to be right and that's something I must move away from. That kind of fight is useless. I also want to comment that it is the fighting and the group labeling that I have issue with and that in general there is a distinction between right and wring that must be made, but I think it's more complex than most people assume.

So I apologize to my readers, though I know you are few especially since I have not posted in several months. The structure I formulated does not feel like the right thing to do anymore.

Since my last post, I've only attended church a few times. My filming schedule put me off for a while. So I'm going to give you a summary of my recent spiritual musings.

Grace Baptist Church is the evangelical megachurch of the Santa Clarita Valley. It's been a few months since I was there, so forgive me if I lack specificity. I guess what I remember most is being bored. I couldn't focus on the music, the sermon, or anything. I felt like I was in a space that spent too much money on the "cool new toys" for the sake of showing off the cool toys. For example: there was an audio system set up outside with hidden ground speakers playing rock worship music along the sidewalks. I felt like I was at Disneyland. It was during this service that it became clear to me that my motivations for visiting church and giving them ratings on a blog had more to do with edifying pre-conceived judgments on Calvary Chapel-esque services rather than an honest and humble exploration. While I sat in the cushioned pew, I kept thinking "what am I doing here?" I recognized this place of judgment was simply too easy, too convienient, and (to use an evangelical phrase), I was floating around in my comfort zone, rather than challenging my faith. I realized it was time to step out of that.

I long for a way of melding a contemporary understanding of the world with the rich perspective of traditional faith. This brings me towards a desire of diving back into the Episcopal Church like I did three years. Maybe that's why I toss myself between Episcopal and evangelical. Because I want both in one church.

This brings me to my next two experiences, both of which live in Easter weekend.

Read Part Two.
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Glory be to the Father. Amen.
Glory be to the Son. Amen.
Glory be to the Spirit. Amen.
As it was in the beginning, is now, and shall be forever. Amen.

What do you mean by 'Church?'

I did not attend a church service today. I listened to a podcast from Rob Bell. There are a couple of points I wish to share with you from the sermon.

"What do you mean by 'Church?'" he asks. Do you mean your own personal sliver of an experience? Or do you mean violent wind, tongues of fire, intoxication with the divine? He says we should be left with more questions than answers once we encounter the divine.

How, in any way, does my life even show that it is transformed? Most of the time, I'm just rushing around trying to get my schoolwork done while distracting myself from any real concerns about life and the world through facebook. I'm so concerned about what others think of me, so I'm reluctant to truly share my opinions unless I'm comfortable with that person. How is hiding away behind a cross necklace truly representative of Christ? How can I make sure that what I believe plays out in my everyday life?

I want the church I attend to be a communal experience. A place to help me grow in my faith. A community. A place where I can give to help those in my community. I've mostly been attending Cornerstone Church since I last posted on here. This provides an interesting problem. Since Cornerstone is a 30 minute drive from my house, it becomes very easy for me to simply skip out on the community aspect I so greatly desire. I desire it and fear it. To know and be known is one of the most thrilling yet scary things a person can do. Because Cornerstone is far away I can say that I don't have time. I like Cornerstone because Francis Chan's sermons help me see God. I can identify with the music. It is a diverse church, full of different ages and ethnicities. But is this simply a tiny sliver of my experience?

But tomorrow doesn't have to be the same as yesterday.

I've been considering, once more, to go looking for a church closer to my house, as a way to discover community. I just hope I might find one that puts God before their families in this supposed suburban paradise. I have three picked out for future adventures: St. Stephen's Episcopal, Royal Oaks Four Square, and Living Hope Evangelical.


On a side note, Rob Bell mentions at the beginning of the podcast that we mean to recapture the importance of the sermon and that the sermon really stems from what he calls an "ancient primal art form, it's the original guerrilla theatre." I appreciated what he said on the subject because I recently had a debate with a friend about whether a pastor should communicate emotions and get caught up in the message he brings to the people. My friend said it was a bad means (emotional communication) even if the end result is good (communicating the Gospel). I said that getting caught up in something isn't a bad means at all, it can help express the point better and help people connect with the message. I think Rob Bell would agree with me in that sermons should be part of the living breathing word that God gives us to spread his love. The poetry of prophets. Sermons do not need to be games of logic. Logic plays an important role, but is not the be all and end all.